I keep looking. Looking for something to remind me of what I’m looking for. Like I’m lost and have forgot where I’m going.
I walk around the house aimlessly. click on the open tabs in my browser, from one-tab-to-the-next, not really finding what I’m looking for. I’ve been racking my brain for clues too, making lists of things to do, places to go, things to buy, rooms to clean etc etc etc…. and then I remember to let go, take a deep breath and release. relax. let go. it will come to me.
life will come to me.
I’ve been in control for so long.
letting go is hard to do.
and I must remind myself to stop grasping for control of life. I’ve had a death grip on life…. and that’s no way to live.
through the events of the last four months, I’ve learned I cannot control my life. so. when you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.
but it’s certainly a transition; letting go.